In 1997, Tarana Burke was a youth worker working predominantly with young Black girls. At a youth camp, a young girl named Heaven asked to speak to Tarana privately. When they did, she shared a story with her. Heaven shared that she was being sexually assaulted by her stepfather. She told Tarana all the awful things she was being subject to. And Tarana couldn’t listen. In less than five minutes, Tarana couldn’t take it anymore. She cut Heaven off in the middle of the story and sent her to another woman who she said could “help her better.” The pain in Heaven’s eyes was evident. She had been shut down after it had been so hard to open up in the first place. And Tarana could see the pain. But she just couldn’t bring herself to comfort Heaven. She couldn’t bring herself to say “Me too.”
This experience informed Tarana’s founding of Just Be inc. and subsequently, the Me Too movement. The Me Too movement was intended for young girls who have endured sexual abuse, particularly young Black girls and other girls of color. It was created to empower these young girls, and also let them know they were not alone. There are other girls, girls like them, girls who looked like them, who had gone through what they had gone through. A group of young girls and women who could say, “Me too.”
I wrote a play called “You Too?” that deals with sexual assault, specifically for Black women in the Black community. At a reading of it last night, I got some really amazing feedback that I truly appreciated. Something a few women said was that they felt the title didn’t actually encapsulate my play. Because my play was so much more than the #MeToo movement. A woman pointed out how it tackled the topics of race and addressed the way Black women are so rarely believed, and how this was beyond the #MeToo movement.
First, (because I know how often Black women’s expressions of feelings can be read as anger…) I was definitely not upset or annoyed by this comment in any way. I really appreciate the fact that she made sure to highlight the way race impacts a sexual assault victim. I obviously am aware of this issue. One of my proudest moments in college was when I helped create the event, #UsToo, about sexual assault in the Black UVA community. It was so named because of the exclusion of Black women in the mainstream #MeToo Movement, and because people needed a reminder that, hey, this affects Us Too. So, I completely understand the logic her comment was founded in.
I just disagree.
You see, for me...Me Too is a Black women’s movement. Yes, Alyssa Milano tweeted it. Yes, it was this use in this tweet that propelled it into national attention. But, I didn’t need Alyssa Milano’s tweet. And neither did Tarana Burke. She had been doing this advocacy work long before that tweet. I was writing about Black women as victims of sexual assault long before that tweet. Black women were holding each other, consoling each other, supporting each other, and whispering “Me too” long before that tweet.
For me, Me Too is a Black women’s movement. When I begin thinking about sexual assault and the ways women are harmed by patriarchy, I am always thinking about race and how Black women are uniquely impacted. Seeing a “#MeToo” sticker on someone’s laptop does not make me think of Alyssa Milano or Harvey Weinstein or a trending twitter topic. It makes me think of Tarana Burke and Heaven and Black women supporting each other.
Me Too is a Black women’s movement. Tarana Burke was doing the work of Me Too long before Alyssa Milano ever tweeted it. And the work of Tarana Burke’s Me Too movement will be carried on long after. Even when the laptop stickers have all peeled off.
Me Too was started by a Black woman. Me Too was started for Black women. A play about Black women and sexual assault cannot be “bigger” than the Me Too movement, because the Me Too movement was always for us. It will always be for us. I will always be thinking about Black women when I hear those words.
Cause… me too, sis.
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